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Guess What I DID????

June 29th, 2008

I remember the first time I had to shovel my own snow…I dreaded it, but I didn’t want the postman to slip, fall, and crack his head, then I get sued…so I did it! It was SO liberating…THEN came the Spring and guess what…the damn grass needed to be cut…I was kind of afraid of lawn mowers because well…they were just scary to me (remember, I am afraid of a lot of stuff)…Well, I borrowed a lawn mower because mines was broken…The person I borrowed it from offered to cut the grass, but I remembered how liberating the feeling was when I shoveled for the first time by myself…I wanted to feel that liberation again…So, not only did I cut the grass, BUT I filled it with gasoline too!!! (Trust this is a HUGE deal for me) Well, from that day on, I’ve had small liberating moments…I’ve done things that made me feel good about my capabilities…Well…This morning…I woke up and my toilet was broken…I don’t know what happened, but it didn’t even cross my mind to look at it…I just said, when I get to work, I’ll call a plumber…I got dressed and then something told me to atleast look at it and see if you could tell what could possibly be wrong with it…I lifted the top and the entire inside was apart…(yeah, I don’t know how in the world that happened)…I really don’t look in toilets that often, so I wasn’t sure what went where, but for some reason, I was able to put everything back together and I FIXED IT!!! I’m so proud…This coming from a chick that, when asked to help put stuff together like a table, chairs, shelves (anything really), I would start helping the person and silently count in my head to 45 and then after 45 seconds, I would say…I just can’t do it and then would walk away…It was so much easier when I had someone around to “Just Do It”, but it is so much more gratifying when I Just Do It Myself! Remember, you don’t know what you can accomplish if you don’t try…

I started running again! I really enjoy it now because it gives me time to clear my mind and just “BE”, but DAMN…DAMN…DAMN…It’s straight kicking my ASS…Just a month ago, I could run my entire route, non stop and still go home and work out a little more…I did 1/2 my route and on top of that…I WALKED 1/2 and jogged the other 1/2 and still had 8 asthma attacks and woke up the next morning with a sore body…One thing I learned though is that pushing yourself physically gives you mental strength as well…During the route I would pick a landmark to run to…No matter how tired I got before hitting the landmark, I promised myself I would not stop…I don’t care if I was one step away from it…I was NOT allowed to stop…(this is why I had 8 asthma attacks). BUT the very second I hit it, I stopped immediately and then picked a landmark to walk too…this went on until I damn near fainted! My body kept telling me to stop girl, you ’bout the kill me…don’t you see I can’t breathe…but my mind would push me further then my body thought it could go…my mind made me beleive that I could do it…and despite my legs turning into noodles, being hot as hell and a serious lack of oxygen…I NEVER stopped before hitting my target…Now, I know for sure…If I beleive it…I can achieve it!!! All I have to do is make it to that next target and I’m one landmark closer to finishing the route!

Entry Filed under: Progressing