fabulousblackwoman.com Blog

FINALLY…JOY

October 18th, 2008

Before I start I would like to ask…when did 5 year olds become so fashion concious and divas! One day I dressed her, then the next morning she threw a complete coniption because she didn’t like what I picked out for her…she threw herself on the floor crying hysterically because she didn’t like what I had chosen…I mean, look at me, I have good fashion sense..right???

I remember driving down the street about a year ago…I remember the exact light I was at…I was sitting at the light wondering if I would ever be happy in all aspect of my life..I was wondering how that would feel…There was ALWAYS some level of drama in my life…nothing serious, but it was always something I was unhappy with…if it wasn’t this, it was that…the job, finances, relationship…it always seemed that if one was good, something had to suck…My friend told me that that was just how life was…she’s in her late 40’s and she said that she has never had everything align and she wouldn’t even know what to do if it did! I refused to believe that I would have to live my entire life fighting to align everything so that I could be happy. Seriously, we can’t have been put here to strive for something that was impossible! Was this really a rat race and then you die??? I know there has to be some people in this world that are genuinely happy; there had to be people that woke up every morning and thanked God because their life was so great…why were they any different then me, why did they deserve complete happiness and I couldn’t seem to find it? Today…Today…everything balanced and aligned…I realized that I have NEVER in my life experienced pure joy that I experienced today…I cried today because my life is so wonderful…I’m tearing up now as I’m typing just thinking about how abundantly blessed I am…Every person should be allowed to experience this comfort and peace in their heart, even if it’s for one day, cause really, I dont know what tomorrow will be, but today…I was filled to the brim and then it just overflowed! If things misalign tomorrow, that will be okay because I now know it can happen and I know the feeling If I get one day like this per year I will be so grateful…but if I get to stay in this place and continue to feel like this…OMG the possibilties of who I will become are endless…I feel like I can literally jump up and reach the stars and THEN grab one right out of the sky! My life really is effortless…I love living it; there’s nothing hard about it, but for some reason every one keeps thinking that it should be…The wonderful thing is…I still have so much more to experience and so much more life to live!!!

I love my family…we are all so different, yet so much alike. I love them because whenever it’s time to come together…we do it and do it BIG. They are so supportive and just beautiful people…I am so blessed to be one of them.

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